Writing Oneself

Words don’t come out in a rush,
They hide behind folds of your thought
Peep from the crevices of your soul
Treading meekly
Afraid if it’s another mistake
To speak about yourself.


I know how it feels
when you cut your hand
while carving a gourd for the curry.
It stings and draws a drop or two of blood.
You are hurting nevertheless.
You don’t stop and make a fuss of your torn body part.
Do you?
You keep slicing and dicing the next gourd,
The knife still running at what it does best.
Why should a torn heart be any different?


She spoke of the equality of men and women.
I heard the applause.
The floor was stunned into silence
It was the passion in her words.

“Sisters, rise up to your freedom,
Fight your own wars”, she said.
“Docility begets dominance
Suffer silently no more.
Search for the warrior spirit within”.
I heard the crowd applaud again.

It was late when she got back home.
I noticed first the incoherent words.
Preoccupied, she hardly listened.
Kept glancing fearfully at her golden dial.
The door was ajar when she walked in home.
She hastily turned and crossed into the room.
I heard a swear, a bang and a muffled cry.
An angry voice said, “Again late. Its past eight o clock”.

The next day the crowd applauded again.
Only I noticed the gash on her chin.


We are capable of violence
More than we ever know.
Hot angry words seethe in our brains
Pouring itself out in hissing tones.
It is the end of a long day,
You are tired and can’t take any more.
You try to control your rage.
You shake yourself.
You remind yourself.
You are a mother.
His mother.
While he stands still with running paint
All over his body,
Your study
And the newly painted bedroom walls.
All you know is to weep.
But then he comes running,
Tears pouring out of little eyes,
Hugs you with tiny hands
And asks innocently
“Amma, why are you crying?”

Anju Sosan George is an Assistant Professor at the Department of English at CMS College, Kottayam and the author of the poetry collection The Woes of a Working Woman.

(Keywords: Anju Sosan George, Dr. Shashi Tharoor, Feminist Poetry, Working women, Innocence, Equality, Efficiency, Writing Oneself, Woes of a Working Woman, G. K Chesterton)